there is always an after! even your nothing is an after especially here when after becomes after and after again
[after collecting a few items of her own, she's made her way to the edge of the commune. in her years, she doesn't think anyone has ever asked for assistance such as this, but she's not especially bothered by it. she'd seen how the wolves burned. how they smelled. she's not immune to sorrow, grief and terror— she processes them differently. jinx wants to cover and ears and eyes for a week, who is she to deny her? better her than someone else with a heavy hand. or a cruel one.]
[ jinx finds yeko by the woods easily. no final hesitation, no moment of clarity, just relief, filling her up from toe to top. she doesn’t understand why the world would have her live and live and live while everyone else burns. it makes about as much sense as isha running that grenade back into the field, or vander bleeding out in the rain. it’s the curse of her existence, taking the good and the bad down with her. a contagion as toxic as the gray, as potent as shimmer.
and with her eyes a dull pink, fading back to blue, she knows it’s her only chance to die. the moment on the bridge all over again, ekko’s hand on her throat. the last time she could have ended it, maybe the last time she had any good left inside her, too, before silco and the mad doctor made her something else entirely.
jinx arrives without baggage, a lazy salute in greeting. ]
Last order of business, hot stuff. [ wagging her finger. ] Tell nobody, or they’ll take it out on you.
[yeko has an image in mind for jinx's death. she'll take her as far into the woods as she can without endangering herself and lay her in the softest grass and moss she can find. there's a story about this, one she's read a long time ago, about a girl driven to madness after the loss of her father. she reaches for this girl's hand – this girl, with her sunken eyes and crushing grief, light dulled by the weight of the world around her, and names her ophelia.]
I promise.
[she is bound to her promises. yeko leads her away from the commune, pausing every so often to scrape bark from a tree or pluck herbs from the forest floor. she is making a bouquet. when they're far enough where their privacy won't be interrupted, she doesn't ask if jinx is ready or if she's sure. she sits on the forest floor and gently tugs at jinx's hand, looking up at her. she hasn't let go since they left.]
Put your head in my lap. I'll take care of everything else.
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no subject
you really want to die for this?
you'll owe me
i'm not going to enjoy doing this to you, but i am an animal, and animals know sickness
no subject
yeah
whatever you want foxtrot
i’ve been sick for a long time
[ in the head, maybe, and cursed since birth. ]
no subject
meet me in the woods if you're serious
you can change your mind, but i'll be waiting there
ah
bring something that matters to you
no subject
[ that she can’t die, not really. that it never sticks, sloughing off her skin like the grey waste in the fissures. ]
i’ll be there
what’s the trinket for?
[ trinket, she says, when she holds one of isha’s wristbands in her pocket, fingertips running along the leather. ]
no subject
so someone who isn't me watches over you
i can only take you so far into the gentle death, the path you take afterwards is one i can't assist
no subject
okay
[ thinking, then, as she gathers what little she has into her pack. not for herself, but for nami and sanji. ]
you believe in an after?
no subject
especially here when after becomes after and after again
[after collecting a few items of her own, she's made her way to the edge of the commune. in her years, she doesn't think anyone has ever asked for assistance such as this, but she's not especially bothered by it. she'd seen how the wolves burned. how they smelled. she's not immune to sorrow, grief and terror— she processes them differently. jinx wants to cover and ears and eyes for a week, who is she to deny her? better her than someone else with a heavy hand. or a cruel one.]
cw assisted suicide
and with her eyes a dull pink, fading back to blue, she knows it’s her only chance to die. the moment on the bridge all over again, ekko’s hand on her throat. the last time she could have ended it, maybe the last time she had any good left inside her, too, before silco and the mad doctor made her something else entirely.
jinx arrives without baggage, a lazy salute in greeting. ]
Last order of business, hot stuff. [ wagging her finger. ] Tell nobody, or they’ll take it out on you.
cw all the way down
I promise.
[she is bound to her promises. yeko leads her away from the commune, pausing every so often to scrape bark from a tree or pluck herbs from the forest floor. she is making a bouquet. when they're far enough where their privacy won't be interrupted, she doesn't ask if jinx is ready or if she's sure. she sits on the forest floor and gently tugs at jinx's hand, looking up at her. she hasn't let go since they left.]
Put your head in my lap. I'll take care of everything else.